It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
