Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
