That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
