she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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