no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
