Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
