The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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