i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We got so high we made milksteak
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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