I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
