I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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