Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
