he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
