I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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