She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
