Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
