That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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