i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
