Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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