hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
