How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
