What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Two words: blizzard sex
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
