The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
