I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
