U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
