Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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