I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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