Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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