i was born a porn star she said
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
