is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
