You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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