She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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