Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
