dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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