things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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