An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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