is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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