dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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