As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's shark week go big or go home
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
