just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
