you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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