But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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