sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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