I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
