Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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