She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
