Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
