dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
