..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
