Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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