Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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