i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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