Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
