Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
