I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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