Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
