You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
