Define "chronic" masturbator.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
